jokes
edition 13
I had bad diarrhea the last couple days. My therapist says I need to find the positive, so on the plus side, the acoustics in the toilet are lit.
I recently wrote a newsletter post titled "the biggest fart in history". I worked pretty hard on it so when it finally went out it was a big relief.
I was biking at the park the other day. There was a group doing yoga in the grass. They were posing and looking back at their flexed butt cheeks. They had a bunch of trampolines set up. The lady leading the group was wearing a headset microphone. I decided to check back on my way home. When I returned the lead lady was the only one who was still there. She was doing the most aggressive trampoline routine I have ever seen. She was bouncing as fast as possible and doing jumping jacks, high kicks, spins, and elbow jabs. It was hilarious.
I notice some dogs are pretty skilled at arcing their pee trajectory onto trees. The next dog who comes by to sniff it must think that a bigger dog was around. Or do they know that some dogs are sharp shooters? Like they can smell “that isn’t a big dog but he’s got impressive arc”.