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edition 36

Oct 10, 2022
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  • We all thought the pandemic would be a good time to reset and build better habits. I was picturing Will Smith in I Am Legend running on a treadmill in his apartment with his dog running next to him on his own treadmill. It was a good time to workout in your basement or garage. Or save up for a big expense. We weren’t going out for entertainment and vacations. I started off thinking I was ready to buy a house, but that turned into a mirage like a desert oasis. I ended up buying a medicine ball on craigslist and a meditation cushion. Maybe you planned bigger changes like moving cities, getting out of a job that didn’t appreciate you, or faking your own death. It was actually a pretty good time to fake your death. In hindsight, the real pro move would have been to invest everything in crypto, cash out, pretend to die of covid, and become a real estate agent in Poland.

  • Russian soldiers have been calling the Ukrainian surrender hotline in huge numbers. They leave tanks and ammo in the field just sitting there. If nobody is working on this already, I think it would be a good time to layout a plan for repurposing Russia as an arena for the Hunger Games. The winner gets to live in Vladimir Putin’s forest palace and hand-selects contestants for the next competition.

  • My newsletter is free, but if you become a paid subscriber I will travel to your city, go to all your favorite restaurants, and shim every wobbly table and chair.

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