The used book store that I can walk to from my house could throw away half of their inventory and the shelves would still be overcrowded with books that nobody will likely every pick up. The shelves are labelled with handwritten cursive on paper that is yellowed and torn, at odd angles. I have to get close and squint to figure out what section I am in.

The people who work there are nice enough. They act like the employees at every other book store. They stay busy and give you a polite nod when you walk past. If you ask for assistance they’re ready to drop what they’re doing to help.

There is another bookstore down the street where I suspect most days a child can be found crying on the sidewalk outside. It’s less than 500 square feet and the small space is crowded by the owners who are poised by the front door.

A small hand-written sign that says “no electronics may be used in the store”. The door doesn’t close on its own so I was turning to close it and before it was shut the man said, “what are you looking for?”. I finished closing the door and turned to face the room. “Hello, a book…fiction.”. He gestured to one shelf next to him and faced me like I needed to say more. A lady, who must be his wife, was watching me out of the corner of her eye. I asked if he had Werner Herzog’s new book and he said “no, we haven’t got that yet. do you want to place an order?”.

Another customer walked in and he hit her with the same question. She asked if they were about to close, like she had just been asked to make it quick or leave. His reply was “no, but we don’t have open browsing”, like that’s a thing any book store might have as a policy. She said, “how about kid’s toys?”, and he pointed to the back of the room and started following her.

I pulled my phone out and the wife, who was pretending to straighten things on shelves across the room immediately starts in on the husband, “Gus. Gus. Gus!”. He confronts me for having my phone, “no electronics in the store. there’s a sign on the door.”. I said, “Sorry, I saw that and forgot. I was just pulling up my list of books I’m shopping for.”. He stared at me and didn’t say anything. My excuse wasn’t good enough.

It was hilarious to me that the wife went back to pretending to straighten things on the shelf, with her back to us, after clearly revealing she was surveilling like a hawk. It was weird in there. There might have a been a gun trained on me under the table. “I guess I’ll leave then?”. He nodded towards the door.

On google maps they have 130 reviews and a 1.5-star rating. That’s kind of an achievement. They’re putting work in, showing up everyday, to turn customers away. And they’re doing it with passion, being mean about it, like two top athletes defending their team’s goal. This isn’t doubles tennis, it’s a tag-team cage match.

Next time I’m going in a frumpy outfit and a long-hair wig. “Can I use your restroom?”. Sit on the floor in front of the shelf and eat a donut. Airpods on and a GoPro chest harness.